How To Know If You’re Ready To Get A Dog With Your Partner
Are You & Your Potential Puppy Daddy Really Ready For A Dog?
Guest Post written by: The Puppy DogMa - Midas’s Mom
Co-parenting, Puppy Daddies, and Pre-Pups!
The COVID-19 pandemic has introduced many new concepts to the world, one of those being the idea of a “COVID puppy.” Everywhere I looked, couples from my high school or college, casual acquaintances, etc. were getting a dog. Honestly, at first I was a bit judgmental, thinking “Wow, they’ve been dating for what 6 months now? And they’re already getting a dog?” “What happens when they break up?” The decision to get a dog is a big responsibility and I saw many COVID puppy parents eventually separate thereafter. All this to say, my puppy daddy and I got Midas during the pandemic in November 2020. However, it was after many years of discussion and planning that we finally made the leap!
First, I’d like to preface this with a reminder that all you potential DogMa’s do NOT need a man or partner to be a good DogMa! This post was created to help anyone in a relationship of any kind that is considering adopting a dog with their partner. While I personally found it essential to have a committed partner before taking on becoming a DogMa due to multiple life factors, I know that this is not the case for everyone! For the sake of this article, I’ll be referring to my partner as a puppy daddy, but also recognize that you may have a puppy mommy or puppy person at home, too! That being said, here are 3 essential questions to help you evaluate your relationship with your potential puppy daddy (or mommy/person!) to gauge whether you’re ready to get a dog.
1. “Who even is this guy?”
What I mean by this is - have you and your puppy daddy discussed where your relationship is going, including but not limited to, whether you are going to have human kids or get married. Notice that this first concept has nothing to do with actually getting a puppy but has everything to do with figuring out whether your puppy daddy is mature enough to have deep and thoughtful discussions about major life topics pertaining to your relationship. It’s important to prepare for the worst. For example, what will happen if you break up. What will you do if your puppy needs life saving surgery? What happens to your puppy if both of you unexpectedly die. (Morbid - I know, but getting a dog is a huge decision, so it should be discussed!) Similar to a pre-nuptial, I recommend a “pre-pup” (You can learn more about Pre-Pups in our Youtube video linked above!))
2. “What’s this guy’s plan?”
In other words, how involved is he going to be in your prospective dog’s life?
You may be thinking: “C’mon Puppy DogMa, you’re being dramatic. We’ll just figure out who will pick up poop once we get the pup! It’s no big deal.” Think again, the little things can add up - especially, if your puppy daddy has never cared for a living thing before. (Plants don’t count here people!).
You may be surprised to find out that your charming and handsome puppy daddy is actually assuming that YOU will be the one taking this new pup on daily walks, buying the dog food, and handling the vet bills! For me and my puppy daddy, we had to have a major conversation about money since we are not married and are both in school.
(As a side note, do not underestimate the cost of having a dog. As a medical student, finances were a major consideration for me, and I took precautions to develop back up plans and safety nets prior to getting a dog. This was a MUST, since I did not feel comfortable getting a dog without knowing that I would be able to care for him the way I felt was right.)
There is also the issue of training. Just because you don’t think you’ll be training your dog to be the winner of the next Winester doesn’t mean that your dog doesn’t need at least some training. (Potty training, leashing training, basic commands, etc.)
Making sure you and your puppy daddy are on the same page when it comes HOW you will be training your pup is another big hurdle. For example, some people tend to lean towards negative reinforcement while others tend to be “praisers.” There’s nothing inherently wrong with either (although it has been found that one is superior for both the dog and the dog-DogMa relationship… I promise to share everything I know about different training methodologies at a later time!), but this is something you should talk about to make sure you present a consistent and united front to limit your puppy’s confusion and help them feel safe and secure in their new home.
Whether you will be the primary “trainer” or not, there will be times when your pup is misbehaving, and puppy daddy will have to redirect and/or discipline. Thus, he needs to be on board with having an active role in your pup’s life - including discipline, and you need to be in agreement as to how you’re going to do it.
3. Is he even a dog person???
Does he say things like “It’s just a dog.” AKA do your morals and values on caring for and adopting a pup align?
Imagine a worst case scenario, where you and your puppy daddy are forced to make the heart breaking decision on whether to help your doggo cross the rainbow bridge. You turn to him with your eyes filled with tears, and he says,“It’s just a dog.”
WOAH….Don’t you wish you would have discussed this earlier, like before getting a puppy together?
If you’re reading this article, your dog is obviously the center of your world. You deserve a partner who will love your pup (almost) as much as you do, or at the very least respects the relationship you and your dog have.
I hope that these key concepts and questions help all you potential DogMas out there when trying to decide whether your puppy daddy is truly “the one” (for both you and your dog!). For more details on the above content, and to learn more about whether you and your puppy daddy are ready for a pup check out our YouTube video on co-parenting your dog.
With furver love,
Midas’s Mom
Your Puppy DogMa
